A Miscarriage During Quarantine…

For the story of my second miscarriage, and the event that happened after… skip to 3:18. This section ends at around 9:30.

On May 28th, 2020, I had my second miscarriage.

Unlike my first miscarriage, (when we found out when it happened…which was very public, very gory, and very traumatic) this time we found out in the doctor’s office. At our first appointment, there had been a strong heartbeat, but by the next appointment, it was gone.

In this video, it seems like I’m being a bit dramatic when it comes to having a covid test… Allow me to explain.

It was right after the covid-19 pandemic started, and covid tests had just come out. The medical staff that I saw for my test really had no idea what they were doing. We’ve all heard the complaining (and trust me, I get it.. it’s not a fun test) about how far up the swab goes and how uncomfortable it is. I had my covid test less than an hour after I found out we had just lost our second pregnancy. Understandably, I had been crying ever since we found out, so that test was already not going to be easy. However, the people who did my test did not know what they were doing. And to be honest, I don’t fault them at all. Everything was new and uncertain… so I get it.

But when they gave me my covid test, they did it incorrectly. They understood that the swab had to be in the correct place for a full minute in order to get the correct reading. They also had to twist it halfway through, which was extremely painful. When they couldn’t get it on the first try (because I threw up at around 45 seconds) they switched to the other nostril and repeated the whole process. It took about ten minutes, but I ended up with a negative result.

What was already an emotionally painful experience was turned into a needlessly physically painful experience… and then after all that, negative test and all, my husband couldn’t even go in with me the next day.

I faced my second miscarriage, and D&C completely alone. When I asked to speak to a chaplain, I was denied because of covid protocols. My first miscarriage was traumatic in the way that it happened… entirely unexpected, very public, and extremely gory… but this miscarriage was traumatic in its own way for completely unnecessary reasons.

Someday, I hope that we start putting action behind our words when we say that mental health matters… because on that day in Alabama, it didn’t.